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favorite fleurty quotes!
MEN RECEIVING FLOWERS:
"Flowers for me?...Honestly, I'd rather be getting a six pack."
"Whoa! Those are nice. I'm going into surgery in the morning. I guess if I don't come out, my wife can enjoy them."
"Did I pay for these?
*
RING RING RING!
"What kind of business is this? I found a charge on my husband’s credit card that says Fleurty. Are you a porn store?
"My flowers are dying." "Did you put them in water?" "They need water?"
*
FLOWER COOLER TALK:
"I can't walk in the front door with only those! You don't understand, my wife is Puerto Rican!"
"You don't have any carnations? What kind of flower shop are you?"
"I want to buy this one." "That's the flower for my bride's bouquet. Oh my god, she'll kill you if you take it! You can't take it. It's not for sale." "But do you think she'll really notice?"
"I want one of every flower...Do you think that'll look good?"
"One rose. That's all she deserves."
"Please wrap these for my girlfriend...And these for her cat."
"We love how the multiple lilies are on...er...I'm an engineer and I call it... 'time release'."
"Are these weeds in my arrangement?"
"I'd like to order a baby blue boutonniere with an orange flower. Yeah my dress is baby blue and orange, my boyfriends tux is also baby blue and orange, and he painted his car to match. He drives a scraper." (from urbandictionary.com: an oldsmobile from the 80's one which one can put a whistle tip muffler. It's an East Oakland Cali thing. The term derived from the fact that when one dips or presses the gas and steps on the brake simultaneously the front and back bumpers SCRAPE the ground.)
*
KITTY FLOWERS:
Father and 3 year old daughter look into the cooler and he says,"Ok, pick one for Mommy." She walks slowly, looking at every flower. At the end, she stops at the one Kitty flower in the cooler at eye level and points to it with a grin from ear to ear.
"I hear you make Kitty flowers, can you make a Sponge Bob corsage?"
"Can you make a boy Kitty flower that looks like me?"
Dad walks in with two little girls. "You girls like the Kitty flowers? How much are they?" "You girls are gonna have to learn to share." Each little girl walked out with their own Kitty.
"She doesn't like Kitty. She likes Miffy."
Customer: "You guys should advertise these!!!" Designer: "But I don't want to make these all day long, everyday. They stare at me with their judging eyes!"
*
THE PARENTS:
Three arrangements, for three girls, with the same card message, "Happy First-Day-of-School! Love, Dad"
"2 dozen red roses, plus one pink rose." “What does the pink rose mean?” "My daughter."
"These flowers are for my wife. She's having a rough day. The baby threw a glass of milk at her. She asked me why he did that and what it meant. I told her," Well, I don't speak baby, but I think that was a clear... F YOU."
*
FLOWER MEANINGS:
On white flowers:
On yellow flowers:
On red flowers:
MARRIAGE:
Designer: "So does it scare you to buy flowers for your wife because she has fantastic taste and knows her flowers?" Customer: Nods head, "Yes, it's terrifying."
A sweet elderly gentleman comes in... "I need to send my wife flowers...I've been a very bad boy."
"My wife deserves beautiful flowers. Poor lady, she’s been married to me for 40 years. Not too bright, I guess."
"I messed up. You think a hundred dollar flower wrap will work?" Later in the following month... "I need to send another hundred dollar wrap..."
*
FLEURTY CARD MESSAGES:
"Roses are red. Violets are blue. I forgot your birthday...Sorry my bad."
"These flowers are made of cocaine."
"To Me, Happy Valentines Day! Love, Me"
"You won't believe how early in advance this was planned!"
"I love you. There's more to read in your real card."
*
THE P.M. FLEURTY GUYS:
"Can you spray paint my rose teal blue?"
"Hey guys. I need more flowers. I got another date with a new broad. They never appreciate the sh*t I go through for them."
"I just snuck out. I'm so glad you guys are still open! Are you drinking beer?"
"I'm not trying to get a girlfriend. I'm just trying to get laid."
*
WHY WE LOVE THIS:
"A wedding bouquet that big will be extremely heavy to carry around." The bride looks at me, nods, and says with a very serious tone,"I've been working out."
A year after her wedding, a bride messages us and says, "I've decided that dahlias are my favorite flower!"
"I want all white flowers for my bouquet. Can you add carnivorous plants to it?"
"OMG! OMG! I LOVE THEM! OMG! Those are all for me?!!!"
"Flowers for me?...Honestly, I'd rather be getting a six pack."
"Whoa! Those are nice. I'm going into surgery in the morning. I guess if I don't come out, my wife can enjoy them."
"Did I pay for these?
*
RING RING RING!
"What kind of business is this? I found a charge on my husband’s credit card that says Fleurty. Are you a porn store?
"My flowers are dying." "Did you put them in water?" "They need water?"
*
FLOWER COOLER TALK:
"I can't walk in the front door with only those! You don't understand, my wife is Puerto Rican!"
"You don't have any carnations? What kind of flower shop are you?"
"I want to buy this one." "That's the flower for my bride's bouquet. Oh my god, she'll kill you if you take it! You can't take it. It's not for sale." "But do you think she'll really notice?"
"I want one of every flower...Do you think that'll look good?"
"One rose. That's all she deserves."
"Please wrap these for my girlfriend...And these for her cat."
"We love how the multiple lilies are on...er...I'm an engineer and I call it... 'time release'."
"Are these weeds in my arrangement?"
"I'd like to order a baby blue boutonniere with an orange flower. Yeah my dress is baby blue and orange, my boyfriends tux is also baby blue and orange, and he painted his car to match. He drives a scraper." (from urbandictionary.com: an oldsmobile from the 80's one which one can put a whistle tip muffler. It's an East Oakland Cali thing. The term derived from the fact that when one dips or presses the gas and steps on the brake simultaneously the front and back bumpers SCRAPE the ground.)
*
KITTY FLOWERS:
Father and 3 year old daughter look into the cooler and he says,"Ok, pick one for Mommy." She walks slowly, looking at every flower. At the end, she stops at the one Kitty flower in the cooler at eye level and points to it with a grin from ear to ear.
"I hear you make Kitty flowers, can you make a Sponge Bob corsage?"
"Can you make a boy Kitty flower that looks like me?"
Dad walks in with two little girls. "You girls like the Kitty flowers? How much are they?" "You girls are gonna have to learn to share." Each little girl walked out with their own Kitty.
"She doesn't like Kitty. She likes Miffy."
Customer: "You guys should advertise these!!!" Designer: "But I don't want to make these all day long, everyday. They stare at me with their judging eyes!"
*
THE PARENTS:
Three arrangements, for three girls, with the same card message, "Happy First-Day-of-School! Love, Dad"
"2 dozen red roses, plus one pink rose." “What does the pink rose mean?” "My daughter."
"These flowers are for my wife. She's having a rough day. The baby threw a glass of milk at her. She asked me why he did that and what it meant. I told her," Well, I don't speak baby, but I think that was a clear... F YOU."
*
FLOWER MEANINGS:
On white flowers:
I want white flowers for my wedding!
She loves white flowers!
White flowers mean death.
Whispered: When my fiancee's mother is around...don't call them white, call them IVORY.
On yellow flowers:
She loves Yellow flowers!
Yellow means happiness.
Yellow means friendship.
Yellow means you're cheating on her.
On red flowers:
Red mean luck.
Red means love.
I don't want to send the wrong impression.
*MARRIAGE:
Designer: "So does it scare you to buy flowers for your wife because she has fantastic taste and knows her flowers?" Customer: Nods head, "Yes, it's terrifying."
A sweet elderly gentleman comes in... "I need to send my wife flowers...I've been a very bad boy."
"My wife deserves beautiful flowers. Poor lady, she’s been married to me for 40 years. Not too bright, I guess."
"I messed up. You think a hundred dollar flower wrap will work?" Later in the following month... "I need to send another hundred dollar wrap..."
*
FLEURTY CARD MESSAGES:
"Roses are red. Violets are blue. I forgot your birthday...Sorry my bad."
"These flowers are made of cocaine."
"To Me, Happy Valentines Day! Love, Me"
"You won't believe how early in advance this was planned!"
"I love you. There's more to read in your real card."
*
THE P.M. FLEURTY GUYS:
"Can you spray paint my rose teal blue?"
"Hey guys. I need more flowers. I got another date with a new broad. They never appreciate the sh*t I go through for them."
"I just snuck out. I'm so glad you guys are still open! Are you drinking beer?"
"I'm not trying to get a girlfriend. I'm just trying to get laid."
*
WHY WE LOVE THIS:
"A wedding bouquet that big will be extremely heavy to carry around." The bride looks at me, nods, and says with a very serious tone,"I've been working out."
A year after her wedding, a bride messages us and says, "I've decided that dahlias are my favorite flower!"
"I want all white flowers for my bouquet. Can you add carnivorous plants to it?"
"OMG! OMG! I LOVE THEM! OMG! Those are all for me?!!!"
